"This is the first time I’ve ever been accused of being a body-double or a robot." Sure. Just the type of thing a robot would say.
Since water doesn’t crystallise when subjected to bad vibes, writing ‘Hitler’ on the side of a water bottle is an easy and cost-effective way of stopping it from freezing. In fact the government should look into scrawling revolting insults all over the nations roads this winter as a way of preventing accidents.